Sometimes Your Emotions Get to You.
I had, what I think is, a first yesterday. I started to tear up and get emotional as I was shooting an assignment. I had to go to the home of a woman named Lin, who has brain cancer. The story is about how she and her friends and family get together to have a good time several times a week. Yesterday was "Spa Day." They had professional make-up, hair and manicure people come to her house and give the women a fun day.
Lin has lost most of her hair and was wearing a ball cap. She had friends helping her get around. She was not having anything done to her at the time, but I kept my eye on her as I made images of her friends getting things done. This is when I got the first sign of my emotions coming to the top. I got a slight lump in my throat and then hint of a tear in my eye. As I was working, I would catch a glimpse of her out of the corner of my eye and all I could see was my mom.
You see, my mom has been fighting lung cancer for the last 18 months. She has had chemotherapy and radiation, and the last treatment she had was the chemo pills. She has lost a lot of weight and most of her hair. The last time I saw her was September, and she looked much different than I remembered.
The great news is when she had her last x-ray or MRI - I am not sure which - last month, they could not find any signs of the lung cancer. She had it in two areas, and both were gone. Even the doctor said it was a miracle. When she told me I was very happy I had been praying for her to get better and my prayers came true.
The thing about it is, the whole time she has been sick, I have dealt with it by not really thinking about it most of the time. She lives in St. Thomas in the Virgin Islands, and I live in Maryland. There have been stretches of years between visits, sometimes. I think that the way I was thinking was that even if the worst happened, I would just think of her still being down there. I know that is not the best way of handling it, but it is how I coped.
Being a manly man, I wiped the tear and pushed the lump down and continued to work. Then it was Lin's turn to be photographed. She was getting a manicure and I made some shots of her, all the while her friends would be cracking jokes and making her smile.
After I was done shooting, I crouched down next to her and told her about my mom and how she had her miracle. Lin took my hand and said she was glad to hear about my mom's cancer remission. I told her that I would pray for her. She thanked me and I went out to my truck. This is when the real waterworks started and that lump turned into a mountain in my throat. I guess all the pent up emotions of my mom and the sadness that there are such things as cancer and people suffering hit me. Luckily I was alone at this point and grabbed a napkin, wiped my eyes, swallowed my mountain lump, took a swig of water and went on to my next assignment.
I have seen many things in my career that are heartbreaking. I have covered accidents, fires, homicides, soldiers' funerals. You name it and I have covered it. These were very sad things and I have felt sadness for the people, but this time it hit me close to home.
Thanks for reading this long post, and go hug a loved one today and don't take the time you have with them for granted. If you feel like helping in the fight against cancer, the American Cancer Society is a good place to start. There is also the American Lung Association for general lung health. As for me, I am going to try and find something I can do to help give back to those who helped my mom and all the others who need it.
Lin has lost most of her hair and was wearing a ball cap. She had friends helping her get around. She was not having anything done to her at the time, but I kept my eye on her as I made images of her friends getting things done. This is when I got the first sign of my emotions coming to the top. I got a slight lump in my throat and then hint of a tear in my eye. As I was working, I would catch a glimpse of her out of the corner of my eye and all I could see was my mom.
You see, my mom has been fighting lung cancer for the last 18 months. She has had chemotherapy and radiation, and the last treatment she had was the chemo pills. She has lost a lot of weight and most of her hair. The last time I saw her was September, and she looked much different than I remembered.
The great news is when she had her last x-ray or MRI - I am not sure which - last month, they could not find any signs of the lung cancer. She had it in two areas, and both were gone. Even the doctor said it was a miracle. When she told me I was very happy I had been praying for her to get better and my prayers came true.
The thing about it is, the whole time she has been sick, I have dealt with it by not really thinking about it most of the time. She lives in St. Thomas in the Virgin Islands, and I live in Maryland. There have been stretches of years between visits, sometimes. I think that the way I was thinking was that even if the worst happened, I would just think of her still being down there. I know that is not the best way of handling it, but it is how I coped.
Being a manly man, I wiped the tear and pushed the lump down and continued to work. Then it was Lin's turn to be photographed. She was getting a manicure and I made some shots of her, all the while her friends would be cracking jokes and making her smile.
After I was done shooting, I crouched down next to her and told her about my mom and how she had her miracle. Lin took my hand and said she was glad to hear about my mom's cancer remission. I told her that I would pray for her. She thanked me and I went out to my truck. This is when the real waterworks started and that lump turned into a mountain in my throat. I guess all the pent up emotions of my mom and the sadness that there are such things as cancer and people suffering hit me. Luckily I was alone at this point and grabbed a napkin, wiped my eyes, swallowed my mountain lump, took a swig of water and went on to my next assignment.
I have seen many things in my career that are heartbreaking. I have covered accidents, fires, homicides, soldiers' funerals. You name it and I have covered it. These were very sad things and I have felt sadness for the people, but this time it hit me close to home.
Thanks for reading this long post, and go hug a loved one today and don't take the time you have with them for granted. If you feel like helping in the fight against cancer, the American Cancer Society is a good place to start. There is also the American Lung Association for general lung health. As for me, I am going to try and find something I can do to help give back to those who helped my mom and all the others who need it.
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